Tying the Knot… Bonds of Matrimony… Must be a Handfasting!


Posted on July 29, 2014 by Judy | Filed under: Celebrant, Tradition, Wedding Symbolism


Handfasting – a great way to bring the wow factor into your ceremony – take away the ‘same old’ ceremony that everyone has.   I mean, you aren’t everyone else, so why just settle for what they did?   Be different!

 

A centuries-old tradition updated for modern weddings

A centuries-old tradition updated for modern weddings

 

Years ago, when priests travelled from village to village, it could be a year before one passed through your remote area, so that you could be married. A handfasting was an agreement to be bound for ‘a year and a day’.

Cords are tied around the couple’s wrists, and they would stay bound until the wedding night!

It is where we get the phrase ‘Bonds of Matrimony’ and ‘Tying the Knot’. It is used in Wiccan and Pagan ceremonies, often as part of a full ritual. I have taken part in one of these ceremonies, and I can do them, but I usually refer couples wanting a full ceremony to other Celebrants who specialise in this type of ritual. They are often at evocative locations such as Stonehenge or Avebury, or the Rollright Stones. But they can equally be in a forest, or by a lake.

 

Celebrant colleagues will offer full handfastings at Stonehenge

Celebrant colleagues will offer full handfastings at Stonehenge

 

Religious Handfasting

Handfasting is also used in the church. The priest will wrap his stole around the couple’s hands “Those whom God has joined together, let not man put asunder”. William and Kate were handfasted at their wedding by the Archbishop of Canterbury….

 

William and Kate, handfasted during their wedding ceremony

William and Kate, handfasted during their wedding ceremony

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I include a ‘mini handfasting’ in ceremonies if the couple would like it. We do this after your vows and rings, and you get to keep the knotted cords to remember your vows!

There is a beautiful Blessing of the Hands verse, which accompanies this ritual. It starts like this:

***
Blessing of the Hands

“These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever.
These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future…… ”

***

Handfasting Cords

Handfasting Cords can be made to blend with the colour theme of your wedding.

Handfasting Cords can be made to blend with the colour theme of your wedding.

 

 

You can have handfasting cords made for you (and the Facebook page Miss Hedgepenny’s Emporium has made some stunning ones), and they can cost anything from a few pounds to hundreds for the very elaborate ones. Or you can make your own. They can match your colour theme, or you can choose colours according to their spiritual meaning.    These cords, in forest green, turquoise blue and white were made for the lovely outdoor wedding of Neil and Helena.  I added little silver charms to reflect the couple’s interests, and these include a laptop, an adjustable spanner, a bicycle – and of course a cupid!

 

 

 

 

 

During the Ceremony, the cords are wrapped and tied around the couples’ joined hands, a symbolic gesture to show the bonds of matrimony, and agreeing to be bound by their promises to one another.    The couple then have to remove their hands from the cords without undoing the knot…       They get to keep the cords as a reminder of the vows they have made to one another.      Some couples have framed their cords in a display case, whilst others keep them in a special box, or in their Wedding Memories Chest.

This photograph is one of me handfasting Nadja and Daniel, and was published as part of a feature about me in Woman and Home magazine,  July 2014

Nadja and Daniel's wedding handfasting

Nadja and Daniel’s wedding handfasting