Let’s talk about death in the Street…
Every now and again, a soap opera will come up with a storyline that takes your breath away. Like millions of people, the Coronation Street Roy and Hayley story has been gripping as Hayley ( a transgender male to female character) faces her end of life diagnosis with pancreatic cancer, and argues with her husband Roy (who is somewhere along the autistic scale, I am sure – a future storyline perhaps) about her determination to end her own life.
There is a celebrant involved in the storyline too, and I look forward with professional interest to the funeral service. Hayley has already met with the Celebrant (who happens to be a Humanist, unlike me), so she has had a lot of control about the content of her own ceremony.
Julie Hesmondhalgh, who has played Hayley since 1988, has written much more eloquently than I could, about how important it is to have “that” conversation. I think if the Corrie storyline has prompted even one family to discuss and write down their end of life wishes, it has done a good job. After all, as the Dying Matters awareness initiative this year states “You Only Die Once” – shouldn’t it be the death you want? Or at least, the best you can manage? And if you don’t tell people what you want – how will they know?
Here is an extract from Julie’s article about Hayley’s death:
“…Hayley’s death airs this week. It isn’t beautiful; it’s necessarily agonising, because of her steely determination to end her own life and Roy’s continued, deep ambivalence about her choice. As the Assisted Dying Bill awaits more parliamentary time, this seems timely and appropriate.
There are no easy answers, but it goes without saying that the part of the proposed bill that talks about patients with terminal illnesses having personal autonomy is deeply relevant to Hayley’s continued struggle to own her own body. It puts the emphasis not for the first time in her life on the issue of what a life is, on who that life belongs to, on the value of a well mind making informed choices about a body that is letting the side down. This is a conversation that needs to be had.
At the Croppers’ second legally recognised wedding, Roy made the observation: “We have remained the same; the world has turned to meet us.” Perhaps the world will turn to meet this unlikely pair of cardiganed agenda setters again. If we can stir people in their living rooms and encourage thought and debate about something affecting real people every day, then I believe it’s a higher purpose for telly that transcends any market forces or need for diversion….”
RIP Hayley Cropper….
For more information about Dying Matters: http://dyingmatters.org/
For more information about support for pancreatic cancer: http://www.pancreaticcancer.org.uk
For more information about Celebrant led funerals: judy@cherish-ceremonies.co.uk
